Indian Railways 2.0

Dear Mr. Chockalingam, IAS, Indian Railways

I have and still continue to be an evergreen fan of the Indian Railways and have looked into with great passion at the enormous growth of your giant organization. Being one of the largest employers of the world, the profitability which your organization has shown over the last few years, because of the innovative ideas churned out by the “funny looking” Bihari from his IAS pupils has been amazing. I’m a software geek working in a company situated at the Old COBOL-PURAM Road, Chennai and also a frequent visitor to your Besant Nagar Railway Booking Reservation Center, Chennai. At any point of the day, this center guarantees me atleast five associates from the Old COBOL-PURAM Road Software centers waiting for their turn to reserve tickets. Guessing them is no big deal as they have a colorful “Poomalai” around their  neck, which they make it a point to wear, even whilst at the rest room. Guys from “TATA MAINFRAME SERVICES” form the pick, but my intuition tells me that there could be guys from “Chockalingam Softwares” and for that matter even from “KADALAI-SUNDAL Softwares” companies, who being ashamed of their companies growth, avoid wearing the so-called “Poomalai”. I have also seen many “Krishna Iyers” , who would have generally applied dye on their hair on any given day, but avoid doing so at this center, thereby facilitating them to look old and also to stand in the SENIOR CITIZEN Queue.

Being so big a fan of your organization, I would like you to think about adapting some of the WEB 2.0 methods (for the uninitiated like you, Mr. Chockalingam, this is another advancement in computer technology) and I’m sure, implementing them would double the organization profitability figures by the end of 2030.

To start off with, Sir, I would like all trains in the Chennai-Trivandrum Sector to have a LCD Screen attached to their respective seats. However I don’t want this facility to be extended to any of the General Compartments, as they are last minute bookers and they don’t deserve the cream. The LCD can have multiple options, which you can customize based on the Sector in which the train operates. The basic feature which you can provide could be the list of passengers traveling in the train, their compartment numbers, seat numbers, age, sex, where they are getting down at, where they boarded the train from, their from address, to address, complexion, employers name, etc. This database of the list of passengers can help people of all age groups in many ways. For all the Marina Beach KADALAI experts, a filter on all FEMALES between the age group 20 and 25, Marital Status = Single, FAIR in Complexion, could help them put KADALAI and make their travel a memorable one. 

The LCD could also provide a welcome break to all travelers trying to impress their fellow-female passengers, by pretending themselves engrossed in reading Outlook or for that matter a Sidney Sheldon novel.  (Sir, for your kind information, Sidney Sheldon is a HE and not a SHE).

For the Mylaopore “VADU MAAANGA” Maamis, who have sons in the States, this LCD could turn out to be their “Indian Railways Matrimony” site, helping them filter out girls of their choice, religion, complexion and can exchange their “Thamboolam” on the spot. For that matter if you can upload information of all the shops in the upcoming station, the “VADU MAANGA” maamis can get hold of the shop that sells “Thamboolam” and “Flowers” and can get the celebration kicked off.

I dont expect many Teleguites in this Sector, but some critical information on “Gongurus” and some clippings of Chiranjeevi & ANR could attract some one-off Andhra passengers as well. The Latin Catholics can use this medium to flock together and sing “Hallleluyah”.  Sir, for every LCD you install, I can provide you with a free PDA, which the Ticket Examiner can use to validate tickets. 

On the other hand, love-failure guys, and Govt. Servants traveling alone, can search for “MURUGAN WINES” or “SAI VELAPPAN ARRACK” shops and can order liquor online, which will be served to their respective seats by the shop owners at the next available station. Add on features like real-time chatting, exchanging pictures, internet, orkuting, synching up I-pod and listening to songs,  web-cam, etc. can be a real ice on the cake.

Since Aaatos in Chennai cost a fortune, travelers could also use the LCD, to communicate to fellow-travelers, traveling to the same area, in order to share the Aaato fares. 

Hope you did find this useful and let me know if I can be of service to your esteemed organization, Sir.

Respectfully.
PK

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5 responses to “Indian Railways 2.0

  1. PERINKOLAM.G.IYER KRISHNAMURTHI

    It has to be emphasised that the so called Krishna Iyers stand in the “Senior Citizen Queue” where they will get their reservation done quickly.

  2. ha ha ha… another good one… liked it very much… i things that wat a so called gentleman does first when he boards the train is to check the list to find out the seats of the females based on the age… and then only look for his seat..
    and thats a good act because he does not troubles any one else by walking into the moving traing and then searching for good ones…hehehehe

    Any of ur ideas if implemented shall be highly appreciated…..

  3. Good one !!!!

  4. Satire is very good.

    But one appreciation I would add is the additional business that has been created in the form of ticket booking agencies who come over to offices and for a meagre 25 bucks , take all the trouble of standing in lines and getting the tickets booked.

    The growth o f Indian raliways has indeed been phenomenol, thanks to our one and only, buffalo king,Lallooji.

    Time for a one of Indian roads, what say?

  5. To find trains and stations log on to http://www.indiantrains.org/

    The better way to search Indian trains looks great and it open fast, no pop-up, user friendly. Every information in a single page. This concept is good and some of the features like calendar, train running day has not come in a single website in this reviews. the most important features i have seen in this site that if the user does not know the station code then also he can see all the trains and it is only website which have a drop menu box for the important station from where you can choose the station name and also it has a date calendar from you can choose the date and it show the running day of the train so that you can know which day of the week this train is running. the other most important feature I have seen in this website that it show the train which does not have the reservation coach for the benefit of the user and they are showing the passenger train also which is also not available in any website. This site will enable the users to search train route and compare fares of most of the trains in India.

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